My life is all over the place right now. I just looked at my calendar for August and literally (and I really mean literally) every single day is planned out. If I am not working, I am doing something, somewhere, with someone. Jay says I overbook myself, which is probably true and why I got sick last night (stomach ache, nausea, and ended up vomiting... ugh), but I love living every day like it is my last. I don't want to look back on my youth and think I didn't experience enough. I think part of the reason I am like this is because of my job. I take care of people in a time where they are most vulnerable... and with that comes a lot of emotion. Plus sitting in a hospital bed with nothing to do gives people a lot of time to think and reflect on life. From these experiences, I have concluded there are far too many people who live with regret. They regret not spending enough time with their loved ones. They regret not traveling enough. They regret not living enough. I refuse to let that happen to me.
In the future, I will look back on Summer of 2011 and remember that I:
... went to see Brett Dennen in concert... spent time at my cabin with friends... went on a boat cruise in Chicago for my brother's graduation and mother's day... ate delicious food in many different restaurants... spent a weekend in Lake Geneva with friends... went to Summerfest in Milwaukee... watched fireworks with Jay laying in the grass... used a chain saw for the first time... saw 311 and Sublime with Rome... drank many beers... ran (and walked) a 5k for charity... rented a house on Lake Michigan with 9 of my favorite ladies... saw the last Harry Potter movie and cried... went to my family's annual picnic... went to the flea market... had lots of laughs... spent a couple days in northern Wisconsin at a friend's cabin... spent a week in Hawaii with my family... walked around the entire coast of Lake Geneva... spent as much time as I could with the people I love...
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| Enjoying the city lights at night. |
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| 311 and Sublime with Rome Show |
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| Playing with sparklers at my cabin |
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| Summer Fest in Milwaukee |
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| Walking around downtown Lake Geneva |
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| Relaxing on the beach of Lake Michigan |
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| After we ran our 5k |
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| Outside the lake house we rented on Lake Michigan |
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| Our private beach for the weekend |
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| 4th of July |
Summer is coming to an end... and that means school is starting soon. I think I am pushing myself now more than ever, because I know it will be impossible to fit as many fun trips and plans into my schedule once school starts, especially because this quarter coming up includes clinical rotation. I am excited, nervous, and stressed all at the same time.
I am also thinking about my future and how much is about to change. Jay graduates from his PhD program this December or at the very latest May 2012. He has to find a job between now and then. After he finds a job he will be moving somewhere in the Chicagoland area. I also plan on finding a new job next year in OB. I want to experience being an OB nurse before I graduate as a Women's Health NP. There is a lot for me to learn. What stresses me out the most is that I plan to look for a job in the city, so I will have to move to Chicago... but then comes a lot more stress... Who will I live with? Can I afford it while paying for grad school out of pocket? Where will Jay be living? What neighborhood would I move to? Do I stay with the same company so I can keep the tuition reimbursement through work? When should I make this big change? Will I even find a job in OB? It is all just too much.
So... for now... I am choosing to ignore the future, live in the now, and bask in the summer sun.
Dear Summer,
You and I have become the best of friends. You make me happy and we always have fun together. Please don't leave. Please extend your Midwest visit until November. Kthanks.
Sincerely,
you friend Rachelle.
