Tuesday, February 23, 2010

logical love

So I watched The Invention of Lying last night. Even though the movie is quite simple, it still got me thinking. The movie is set in a world where no one is able to lie, the concept has never even been thought of before. In the movie, finding a mate and procreating is all a logical process. The purpose of procreating is to find your best possible genetic match, in order to give your children the best possible chance in the world. It makes sense, because dating is a series of lying (small white lies usually), but if everyone had to tell the brutal truth, the dating process would be cut short. The only point of dating in this fictional world is to find your mate, which I guess is one of the main reasons people date in our world, they are looking for someone to love for the rest of their lives, right? To provide them with a wonderful future.

Anyway, I took a step back from emotional love for a second and thought about relationships like they do in this movie... in a logical way. Logically what do I want my life with my husband to be like in the future?

I want a husband who is...
  • trustworthy
  • easy to talk to
  • loyal
  • secure
  • confident
  • financially stable
Yes, love is a huge part of find a "mate", but you can't marry just for love, you have to think about it logically, too. I think that even people who passionately love each other at first can run dry, because if the logical reasons to marry someone are not there, then marriages can fall through due to mistrust, insecurity, financial issues, betrayal, and most of all a downfall in the communication process.

On the other hand, the emotional part of love is hard to resist. It is difficult to see the reasons not to love someone logically, when your mind and heart are clouded with the love fog. You want someone who loves you more than anyone can, someone who is always on your side, someone who just makes you warm inside and out.

Luckily, after three years of dating Jay, I have come to the absolute conclusion that we are lucky and we have the best of both worlds.

I probably should introduce Jay...

Jay and I met in Ecology Lab at the University of Illinois (I know... NERDS). This class was amazing, because we were outside all the time, doing studies on different habitats: forests, streams, fields. Anyway, Jay was pretty quiet and I enjoy bugging quiet people so I started talking to him. I thought he was cute, so I often asked him for help with homework (like I actually needed it, haha). We started to do work together for the class and after a couple times of hanging out, we both realized it was heading towards more than a friendship. Three years later... here we are :)

Jay is the epitome of every mother's dream (and every girl's for that matter). He is funny and sometimes hilarious, but I won't let his head get too big. We are very honest with each other, something that I think a lot of people struggle with. My friends think we are too honest sometimes, but it works for us, because then there is no bullshit. He is always confident in himself, in me, and in our relationship. Jay is loyal and you can see that in his tight-knit family and friends he has had since grade school. He is also, super smart (he is getting his PhD in Immunophysiology and behavior... huh? what does that even mean?). With his almost PhD we can hopefully assume that he will be financially stable in the future, and even if not, my future job as a nurse practitioner will allow us to be financially stable by itself. He is goal oriented and very driven towards his goals. Jay loves to cook and is really good at it... probably one of my top 5 favorite things about him. He even loves to garden... and he's good at that, too! He is neat, tidy and organized (his closet is spotless). He is also a craftsman, he can build things with his hands and power tools... oh so sexy [insert Tim Allen grunt here].

So... both logically and emotionally I think we are going to last. We love each other through and through.. so we have the emotional love covered. He is also logically going to be a great "mate" as well. I think I found myself a keeper. :)

...maybe I should hide this blog from him... if he stumbles upon it his head might burst. hee hee.

on a side note....
I find it kind of odd to write in a blog. I am still trying to get used to this idea. It almost seems vain to me, writing to attempt to get others attention... right? Isn't that what blogs are partially for? I mean, I know blogs are beneficial to spread knowledge, interact with others, to help with self-realization of certain things, but the point is also to acquire more and more readers/followers. I used to have blogs back in the day, but they were for our friends in college to read, so we could keep in touch and know what was happening in each others lives without having to repeat the stories 20 times over. Either way, vain or not, I am going to continue on with my blog. :)


Random Rachelle...
- i work tonight 7pm - 7am.
- i wore jeggings yesterday... and loved them... i wore them with boots. dont hate.
- i have eaten 5 clementines in the last 12 hours.

1 comment:

  1. It seems silly at first, like you are talking to yourself - but eventually people will wander over and comment and you'll get feedback.

    Blogging is a wonderful brain dump (you know that from journaling), and you really do meet AMAZING and interesting people whom you would never stumble across in real life.

    If nothing else - I'm reading, and I like it.