Hello this is the XX XX Health Clinic.... we have some bad news.

I already called my boyfriend, Jay, and my only best friend that I know is awake and at her desk at work at 8am... and told both of them this story... and since I am not sick of telling it yet... and none of my other best friends would be keen on talking to me this early in the morning... I will tell you (and subsequently the girls that won't pick up the phone at 8am... since they all read this blog and will eventually read this story. Hi lovies!)

So I work nights as a nurse... and on my way home I am exhausted after working a 12 (sometimes 13) hour shift.  So, I choose to listen to the most obnoxious radio stations on the way home.  They usually hold scandalous conversations with their listeners ranting about bad stripper experiences, how their first threesome experience was, or how they hooked up with some nasty guy and he kept on calling and calling. 

Well, this morning a girl named Ashley calls into the radio station because she thinks her boyfriend is cheating on her.  So the radio station calls him with Ashley listening... and it goes something like this...

Radio> Hello is this John Doe? (I can't remember his real name)

John> Yes it is. Who is this?

Radio> John, this is the XX XX Health Clinic. We have a few questions for you if that is okay.

John> Yeah sure... what is this about?? (Boy is suspecting something is awry at this point)

Radio> Have you been sexually active within the last 90 days.

John> uhhh yeah... what is this about??! (Boy is really suspecting something is wrong)

Radio> Well, one of our patients tested positive for a sexually transmitted disease and listed you as one of the people she had been sexually involved with in the last 90 days.

John> I haven't had any symptoms!

Radio> Well, the truth is that many people with STDs do not experience symptoms at all. (and this is true... advice from a nurse)

John> Well who is this person? Who has the STD??!! (totally freaking out now)

Radio> We can't actually tell you who the person was.  We are, however, required to ask you the names of those you have been sexually active with within the last 90 days.  

John> (First... he names his girlfriend, Ashley, and then... he says HER BEST FRIEND'S NAME!!!)

Then... you hear the girlfriend go ape shit and scream bloody murder at her boyfriend.

John> ASHLEY??!! What??? I was just on the phone with a... wait... What the %$#@!#$!!!

Then... the radio station starts playing Mexican Fiesta music and chants...

Radio> you are a CHEATER!! you are a CHEATER!!! (with maracas keeping the beat... no joke)

I about died laughing.  He totally deserves the embarrassment if he really is cheating on his girlfriend.  It was just so dramatic... I was hanging onto every sentence of that conversation. The radio station was so convincing! I would have totally believed them, too.

Anyway... I just HAD to tell that story!

Start with a bang.

With every new quarter of school I seem to always start it with a bang... and by bang I mean... I freak out, cry, call Jay exclaiming how unbelievably impossible my class is and how I am going to be a failure.  Then, after listening to my rant, Jay attempts to calm me down and put things into a more logical perspective, which makes me more upset, so I hang up on him and make it out to be his fault that my Health Care Policy class is too hard.  After about an hour of eating chocolate and stalking people on facebook... I then call Jay back, apologize, take a deep breath and my mental breakdown is over.

That is what happened Friday evening.

I am pretty good at being a student, but this Health Care Policy class that I have to take seems impossible.  I did not pay enough attention in third through fifth grade when we learned the tiers of government and how the whole process works. I am seriously considering watching School House Rock and enjoying their rendition of how a bill becomes a law.

Well.. I just found it on Kidstube.com.  Looks like I will be watching it!

After deciding I no longer wanted to make any attempts at answering discussion questions for this class, I got dolled up and went out with friends. Wearing heels, doing my makeup and putting on a cute outfit always makes me feel better... that and a couple of beers. We celebrated a birthday and the homecoming of a friend from Afghanistan. Happy times with happy friends makes for a happier me.

Now, it is Monday... back to square one. Except this time... I am armed with a better attitude: Do the best I can... and hope to get an A or B... but I will gladly take a C. This may be the only class that I am unable to truly grasp all aspects of what I am supposed to learn... so I am just going to just go with it and hope I make it through.

Unfortunately, in order for my work to reimburse me for classes (they pay me $7,500 a year... i think... in reimubursements) I have to get an A or B in the class.

On a positive note: I got an A in both my classes last semester: Advanced Physiology and Biostatistics for Evidence Based Practice. Other than this stupid Health Care Policy class... I am taking Advanced Reproductive Dynamics which I know I can get an A in... and I find SUPER intersting... and Scientific Basis for Clinical Reasoning... which shouldn't be too bad.

Sorry for my lack of correct punctuation or capitalization of letters. I am far too lazy for that tonight.

Fall and Winter To Do List

Since yesterday was the first official day of fall... I figured I would wrap up my Spring and Summer To Do List...

 

I did about half of what I had planned to do this summer... then ended up replacing the other half with different events. I never missed out on doing something on my list to sit at home and do nothing... there was always a BBQ, a party, a concert, a cabin trip, a girls night out or some other event to take its place.  So, I am not disappointed that I was only able to cross off half of my list. 

 

My Spring & Summer Fun To Do's

• DONE Go to the beach
• DONE Go to a museum
• DONE Seek out photo ops 
• DONE Go to Ireland (June 2-7)
• DONE Kentucky Derby party @ Mike and Shley's (May 1)
•  DONE Visit the Sears Tower (not Willis darnit!) Skydeck
• DONE Have a bonfire
• DONE Paint pottery
• DONE Lake Geneva trip with my favorite ladies (June 17-19)
• DONE Pride parade (June 27) 
• DONE Summerfest for the 4th of July in Milwaukee, WI
• DONE Go to a concert
• DONE Go to my cabin  (July 10/11 and Aug 7/8!!)
• DONE Play tennis
• DONE Go camping
• DONE Sturgeon Bay, WI for my birthday with a few of my best ladies (July 21-23) 
• DONE Family Picnic (July 24)  
• Go for a long (for me) bike ride
• Ride a roller coaster
• Hot air balloon ride
• Have a picnic
• Go to the zoo
• Volunteer
• Play bocce ball
• Gamble at a casino
• See a movie in grant park
• Go to a cubs game
• Pitchfork music fest (July 16-18)
• Chicago Jazz Fest (Sept 3-5)
  
• Paint with acrylics
• Oktoberfest Chicago (Sept 24-26)
  
• Possible South Carolina Trip (mid September) 

 

 

 

I am excited to release...

 

 

 

My Fall & Winter To Do List!!!

• Bake cupcakes from scratch
• Go to Pops for Champagne (A champagne bar in Chicago)
• Take pictures at a park in my home town
• Apple picking
• Pumpkin picking and subsequent carving
• Sew my own Halloween costume
• See a Drive-in movie
• Knit a scarf
• Learn to crochet
• Make spiced cider
• Grow out my hair
• Spend less money
• Eat lots of food on Thanksgiving
• Shop at a thrift store
• See a musical or play
• Have a Christmas party with my girls
• Snowboarding
• Learn to ski
• Get straight A's
• Buy my friends' Christmas presents at a resale shop
• Bake a pie from scratch
• Celebrate New Years in style
• Go sledding
• Cuddle with Jay... or maybe my cat... under a blanket 
• Visit my friends in Oregon

awkward webcam.

Just saw Easy A in the theaters with two of my beautiful friends. One of our local theaters does $5 for all movies Monday through Thursday all day! Amazing, right?!  Easy A was a fun movie to see on our Hump Day Movie Date.  The plot was fun and the movie made us laugh. Totes worth $5. We are thinking of making this a thing... as many Wednesdays as possible through the bitter cold Illinois winter... bringing blankets... drinking slurpees... and seeing a $5 movie!

Tonight was my first night (since I cut my own bangs) that I just showered and wore my hair as is.  For the concert I actually straightened it and pinned half of it back... and since the concert my bangs have been pinned back for my photo shoot (to keep them out of my eyes) and then for work (to also keep them out of my eyes).   When I saw myself in the nasty public bathroom mirror at the theater, I was taken aback. I really look like this now? It's been 15 years since I had bangs in this style!

So... here are a few pics of my real hair... with my new home-cut bangs... taken by my webcam... because I am far too lazy for any other camera device (involves uploading, downloading, waiting, etc.)  

I'll let you judge.

hullo.

gawrsh this is awkward.

 

okay, enough.

haha.

a night in the life of me as a nurse.

 

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Holy crap!
I can post blogs from work! Ha! Just discovered this!! Viewing my blog is blocked, but posting a blog is not. How odd.

Well, it is 4am... the life of a night nurse.  Tonight just happens to be a :::slow::: night. Yikes I may have just jinxed myself by typing that! 

Thought you might enjoy a small peek into my night as a nurse...
-Left the house a 6:10pm.
-Clocked in at 6:53pm.
-Printed off my patients' profiles - three sheets summarizing their information.
-Sat down with the nurse who worked from 7am to 7pm.
-Got a report about each patient... their history, why they are here, what happened today, anything pending to follow up on... etc etc etc.
-Checked the computer and read all the labs, test results, etc.
-Walked into each room with the other nurse - she says good bye... I say hello... hello hello! (beatles reference anyone?)
-Go through the medication record and see if there is anything I need to give in the next hour.
-See each of my patients and assess them head to toe... while at the same time joking around with them about how awful The Situation is on Dancing with the Stars. Ha! One of my patients was watching that show tonight.
-Tonight my patients were:
     *Patient A: came in because of dizziness, possible stroke. The stroke was ruled out. YAY for her.
     *Patient B: Frequent falls at home. Did some tests... nothing found... deciding if home alone is the best place for her...my opinion is no.
     *Patient C: Right knee pain... possible metastaic cancer to the knee.   :(
     *Patient D: Total hip replacement.
     *Patient E: Cellulitis of the foot.  She had a blister... it popped... and now is red and infected and ew.
-Charted on all my patients after I assessed them.
-Hung some antibiotics
-Straight catheterized a patient since she couldn't pee on her own (tube goes in to drain urine... tube comes out).  6 hours later she still couldn't pee so I put in an indwelling foley catheter (attached to a collection bag)
-Passed some pain medications
-Ran around the hospital looking for a cot for Patient D's fiance to sleep in.
-Helped Patien Bget hooked up to her CPAP machine that she wears for her sleep apnea.
-Took a break and ate some shrimp with asparagus over a bed of rice.
-Printed off lecture slides for my three classes that are starting today. UGH.
-Went through all my patients' charts and made sure the last 24 hours of doctors' orders were followed through.
-Helped another nurse fix her patient's epidural machine.
-Responded to a "rapid response call"... one of the patient's on our floor was having an anaphylactic reaction to an antibiotic she was receiving.
-Encouraged Patient D to do her breathing exercises so she won't get pneumonia.
-Charted some more...
-Emptied Patient D's wound drain.
.... and the night goes on....

I could go on, but it really is just boring. All of my patients are really darling though. They are all super nice and fun to talk to which is a rarity. 


... maybe I should do some work.  Back to being a nurse!

Sad this weekend is over.

Last night was the Jason Mraz and Dave Matthews Band show! I wish it never ended. I have to unfortunately report that Jason Mraz was sub par. I have seen him several times before and he just wasn't as great this time. I think the venue was much too large for him - Wrigley Field seats about 42,000, and this doesn't even include the standing room/ general admission tickets who were lucky to be able to stand right in front of the stage on the field.  Jason Mraz is more like a smaller venue artist.  He did a great job, just not as fantastic as I know he can be.  Dave Matthews Band, however, played better than I have ever heard them! (I may be biased, because my memory of this show is so fresh in my mind, compared to all the other shows I have attended).  Either way, DMB rocked out and they were seriously phenomenally legendary!  I went with four fantastic friends and Jay.  We all had the best time.  

Me and Ashley M before the show.  (This is the "right outfit" I came up with last Thursday)

Oh yeah forgot to mention... I was bored on Friday... and my hair stylist was off for the day... but I really wanted bangs... look who ended up cutting her own bangs, because she is so darn impatient! I am not used to them yet and I keep on doing double takes when I pass a mirror, because it doesn't look like me!

my girls.

the whole group at a pub before the show.

Jay and I having fun during the show.

We were SO far away, but the show was STILL amazing.

Today, I played photographer for my friends.  They are getting married in 3 weeks and part of my wedding gift to them are their engagement photos.  They turned out super adorable.  There is a random barn in my hometown that looks as if it is going to fall apart at any moment.  I have been meaning to find a reason to take a picture of this barn, so when I told Lauren and Jeff that I would do fun engagement photos of them, this was the first location that came to mind.  Today ended up being perfect weather.  It was over cast and not too windy or chilly.  I will just share a few photos from today!

Jeff and Lauren.

What a good looking couple.

Yes, we live in Illinois... lots of corn.

It was so much fun doing this photo shoot. This is my first photo shoot of people. I usually take a lot of pictures of plants, scenery, etc.  They were really great at going with the flow and having fun.  I think these pictures turned out well, considering I have never done this before and still don't fully know how to use my camera!  Cheers to Jeff and Lauren on their upcoming wedding day! I cannot wait to be there to witness the start of your lives together.

for you.

I love this song. It always makes me smile. Listen and read the lyrics. Every girl should be with a boy who feels this way about her.

Oh her eyes, her eyes

Make the stars look like they're not shining

Her hair, her hair

Falls perfectly without her trying

She's so beautiful

And I tell her every day

Yeah I know, I know

When I compliment her

She wont believe me

And its so, its so

Sad to think she don't see what I see

But every time she asks me do I look okay

I say

When I see your face

There's not a thing that I would change

Cause you're amazing

Just the way you are

And when you smile,

The whole world stops and stares for awhile

Cause girl you're amazing

Just the way you are

Her lips, her lips

I could kiss them all day if she'd let me

Her laugh, her laugh

She hates but I think its so sexy

She's so beautiful

And I tell her every day

Oh you know, you know, you know

Id never ask you to change

If perfect is what you're searching for

Then just stay the same

So don't even bother asking

If you look okay

You know I say

When I see your face

There's not a thing that I would change

Cause you're amazing

Just the way you are

And when you smile,

The whole world stops and stares for awhile

Cause girl you're amazing

Just the way you are

The way you are

The way you are

Girl you're amazing

Just the way you are

When I see your face

There's not a thing that I would change

Cause you're amazing

Just the way you are

And when you smile,

The whole world stops and stares for awhile

Cause girl you're amazing

Just the way you are

my second hole

I am referring to my second piercing on my ear... not any other second hole... you pervs!

When I was in high school it became cool to get cartilage, eye brow, tongue, lip, belly button, and second ear piercings.  My mother, however, would never allow it. So, of course, the moment I moved to college, I decided, done and done... I got a second ear piercing and a cartilage piercing.  When I came home for Thanksgiving break, my mom saw the piercings and flipped out. She thinks they look trashy.  She made me take out the cartilage piercing, but compromised with me and let me keep the second ear piercing.  When the novelty wore off, I just stopped wearing the second earrings.  

Now... many a year later... I put earrings into the second hole and they are still open! I put them in yesterday... my ears are THROBBING.  I know if I take them out they will just shrink back and the next time I try they will hurt just the same. So I am trying to tough it out and stretch them out with the earrings I have in, while at the same time keeping them clean so they don't get infected and my ears don't fall off.  Ha! Can you just picture me walking around without ears on?  

I just had to bitch and moan about it, because they HURT. wahhh!

If I stare at this picture of my ear long enough, it looks so deformed to me.  

Don't you love the owl earrings?! They are from Ashley M for my birthday... from Anthropolgie. I ADORE that store.

The right outfit

Going to a concert this weekend means one thing to my closet... 

It is being ransacked for some combo of clothing that I have never thought of before.  

With grad school tuition and $700 of books on labor and birthing, I cannot afford to go out and buy a cute outfit.  (I just have to clarify that the labor and birthing books are for my Women's Health Nurse Practitioner program... I am not trying to birth a child. ha.)  So, I open my closet that is bursting at the seams (I really need to get rid of some old clothes) and start my own fashion show... well, substitute my knee high leather boots for 6 inch platforms... and my favorite cardigans and leggings for risque dresses... and my 5'2'' a few extra lbs body for 6'0'' tall uber skinny models.  It is so important to have the right outfit. I sound so "Legally Blonde" here, but I do not mean it in that way.  It is so important for me to have the correct outfit, because the correct outfit helps to set my mood.  I do not want an outfit I will be uncomfortable in. I do not want an outfit I will be self-conscious in.  I need an outfit that is me, something I have never worn before, and an outfit I just look good in, because lots of pictures will be taken... and pictures become permanent... especially when uploaded to the internet.  More importantly, the concert is outside at Wrigley Field, so I must be able to battle the chill (yay, Fall weather)... but before and after the show we will be hanging at pubs in the city, so I must be able to take layers off when I am indoors, or possibly because I am breaking a sweat when I am dancing to the tunes of Jason Mraz.  Do you see my predicament?!  The outfit has to be versatile!

***

No worries, my friends, I have triumphed and found the perfect outfit. While it was a struggle, with my floor covered in shoes and clothing of all colors to prove it, I found an outfit that is cute, playful, comfortable, warm, has layers to shed, and will be figure flattering despite all the beer and (hopefully) pizza I will be consuming.  

The perfect outfit... 

-a dress with a long cardigan (layers to shed, yet playful)

-leggings (warmth)

-knee high flat boots (comfort and style)

As me and my friends often say... Done and Duuuuuun. (it is key to emphasize the second "done" to express finality).    

a road many times traveled

I just realized this is my 3rd post in the last 24 hours. A little much... but... I just have to celebrate myself for a moment!

In one hour... I will be out the door to attend a Pilates class at the local fitness club.  Go ME!

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I have started to actually like my body and not be totally ashamed of it lately, but I also work as a nurse and know the repercussions of not staying fit.  I see what obesity, smoking, drinking, high cholesterol, and high blood pressure do to a body over time.  Thankfully I am not a cigarette smoker (I have never once tried to smoke a cigarette for fear that I may like them), nor am I a heavy drinker (I drink once every two weeks with friends). I am, however, not an ideal weight and I do not eat as many fruits and veggies as I know I should... so here is my road to a healthier life... here is to preventing high cholesterol, high blood pressure, and obesity. I have tried traveling down this road oh so many times... but I guess it always starts with one step forward, right?

So... Pilates Class.. here I come!

Sara.

I love Sara Bareilles. 

I saw her live at the Univ. of Illinois back in the days when I was a student.  She was so funny, quirky, and adorable.  I think if her and I met in real life and I wasn't awkwardly star-struck... we would be friends.  Just take a listen and appreciate how cute and fun she is.  This is her latest hit on the radio. I am so glad that ladies like her can still have hits and not slut it out to the paparazzi and just be normal people.  Not that I know her, but at the show I attended she talked to the crowd a lot, because it was pretty small and intimate.  She just seems like a normal gal and I love her for it.

Sleep and Love.

I just slept for ELEVEN hours. Yes. ELEVEN.

It. Was. Glorious.

I make it through the week sleeping in five hour increments, usually.  Then there is always one day that I hibernate. I curl up under my sheets and quilt and just give in to slumber. I love that word. SLUMBER.  Sleep is a glorious thing. It brings me dreams. It brings me rest. It brings me happiness.

Recap of my lovers visit last week... 

Jay and I have been together for just about four years now and we always plan dates together, but I decided let's plan dates like when we first started dating.. back when surprises were more frequent.  So we did.  One he planned. Then, one I planned. His was a success. Mine was... meh. 

For Jay's date we went on a walk/hike through Allerton Park, then stayed in and ordered Chinese food... a totally relaxing, cute date.  Good job, Jay!

For my date, we went to the on-campus center for the arts at the University of Illlinois and attended a Cuban music event.  I imagined the night one way and it totally turned out another way.  (I seem to set myself up for defeat and then get all sorts of disappointed and sad when it doesn't turn out the exact way I plan.  Note to self: stop doing this!)  The music was wonderful, but the amount of people was not so wonderful. When I am hungry, I cannot handle waiting in lines or being surrounded by masses, having to push through crowds to get from point A to point B. No No. I do not like.  So, we left, ate some Italian deliciousness, then gave it a second try.  We found a little spot outside that we could sit and listen.  Once I just let go of how I imagined the date to be... and just went with it.. I had fun and so did Jay, which was the whole point of the dates.  We wanted to spend time together and just be happy. So, I guess it was a success. 

 Sitting outside at the event. The blue tents housed food and drinks. 

Our view is from the steps/seats of the amphitheater outside.

A really lively Cuban band playing.

He's so cute.

Now this upcoming weekend... SO EXCITED... I am seeing Jason Mraz and Dave Matthews Band play at Wrigley Field: Home of the Cubby Bears!!  (yeah yeah, I know the Cubs are sucking badly BADLY this season).  Jay and I are going with one of my besty friends, Franke, and her boyfriend Mikey! I cannot wait. 

 Oh, Jason Mraz, I. Love. You.

Oh, Dave, I cannot wait for us to reunite again.

Franke and Mikey

Me and Jay and the woods.

Jay and I like to be adventurous and always travel, but unfortunately our schedules, wallets, and the fact that we live 3 hours from each other... kind of impedes on our adventurousness.... 

When we do get to fit in a small adventure, we just love love love it.

Here are some shots of our latest adventure... Touring the gardens and property of what was once the private estate of Robert Allerton.

We were all alone.

The honey bees and butterflies kept us company.

Such beautifully organized gardens.

Reminds me of Harry Potter and The Goblet of Fire

A cute place to rest and have a cup of tea, perhaps?

Chinese statues.

We came across a large open field.

Seriously, just like the mazes in the tournament in Harry Potter!

 Cedric Diggory (aka Robert Pattinson) in the maze in the HP movie.

Waltzing through the woods.

Beautiful canopy.

Life from death.

Me.

Us.

Never Tear Us Apart

Jay sent this to me.

Hopefully it will fill your day with sexy sounds.

Labor (free) Weekend

This was the busiest, relaxing weekend I have had in a while!  I was so busy... busy relaxing! 

Visited Jay's sister Jess's new apartment.  Played some fun drinking games with friends.

 Leah, Me, Jess

 Me and Jay

Went out to breakfast at The Verdict with Jay, Jess, and Mike... then headed downtown and hung out with Lisa (one of my bffs) and Ern (one of Jay's bffs)

 Out on Ern's rooftop enjoying the view and the gorgeous weather.

 

 Lisa with the great view

 

The boys listening to some tunes

Ate at Honky Tonk BBQ... yummy mac and cheese!

Grabbed some beer at the grocery store then headed over to a friend's house and hung out the rest of the night. Overall... lots of food... some beers... lots of laughs... great friends... fantastic Labor Day Weekend.

Now the nerd glasses compilation begins...

 Me.

 

 Ern.

 

 Kristi.

 

 Ed.

 Steve.

 

 Luke.

 

 Lisa.

 

Jay.